Am I not good enough?

[BloodyInnocence]

continuarea e aici.:))


***

The first thing I see when walking into the studio is that girl, the one from the airport, the one from my dreams, the blond Goddess. I can`t believe it, actually don`t want to believe what my eyes are observing. But a petite brunette appears from nowhere and blocks her from my view.
“Good-day, gentlemen. With what may I help you?” the brunette asks batting her eyelashes at me.
I`m a bit surprised because she doesn`t seem to know me. Something about her tells me to not be insulted by this, maybe because she doesn`t look to smart. I`m trying not to judge people by their appearance, but there are cases like this that you just can`t keep your first impression under control. You don`t know what they are capable of doing or how they will astound you.
“I`m Kou Seiya and my manager, Scot Barnell, made an appointment for today at two o`clock.” I say in my sweetest tone. ”And this is my bodyguard, Ted.” I present him to the girl.

She looks at me like she is trying to remember my name from somewhere and I wait patiently to be recognized. Don`t think that the brunette will figure it out, though. After a couple of seconds I ask Big T a silent question, asking him what should I do next. If I wait for her to remember me it may take months. He just shrugs his big broad shoulders attempting not to laugh at the brunettes stupidity. She works in a field that encounters and deals with famous people on a daily basis, so she should know who is a celebrity and who`s not and who`s hot right now and not. I can`t conceive the fact that they haven`t photographed celebrities before because if they haven`t then why would Scot choose them? I really don`t want to work with amateurs or be photographed by one, especially when my image is at stake. You know, one bad picture and they`ll remember it for the rest of your life.
“Excuse me, miss…” I say waiting for her to give me her name.

The girl looks like I brought her back to reality. Clearly, she isn`t a professional. Oh, Scot where have you sent me? Swear, if I get through this alive I`ll never let him handle this kind of things again.
“Oh, I`m very sorry. I haven`t introduced myself, have I? my name is Clarisa, nice to meet you, mister Kou.” Says putting her left hand behind her head and smiling with her eyes closed.
Actually, if I look twice at her, the girl isn`t that good looking to be so stupid. But even though, wouldn`t mind spending a night or two between those legs.
“Clarisa. What a strange name you have.” I say making her blush. “Where can I find the owner of this studio?”
“That will be me, mister Kou.” Someone from behind Clarisa says.
The brunette steps aside and revels a beautiful girl with long blond straight hair and entrancing big blue eyes. I wouldn`t mind spending a night between her legs either. She has a sweet body too. Oh, I can actually imagine those slender legs wrapping around my body while claiming that sinful mouth of hers. I`m so happy right now that I chose a pair of baggy jeans, otherwise my erection would have been more than evident. But even though she is beautiful, she isn`t my type. Her clothes hides every inch of her skin and I love deep cleavage and mini-skirts. I am going through a dry period because of those dreams that don`t let me sleep at night. I haven`t had a woman in my bed since like forever and I`m starting to act like a horny teenager. Have to get my way tonight or I`ll go crazy.

“I`m Michelle Taylor and I`ll photograph you in this wonderful afternoon. First, I want to introduce my partner, that is if you would want to meet her.”
When hearing about her partner my attention goes to the girl that I saw when entered the studio. She must be her partner, oh, I really hope that she is. Really want to meet her.
“It would be my pleasure to meet her.” Say hoping that the partner was the girl I wanted to encounter.
Big T shots me a glance full of curiosity, wanting to know why was I so interested in that person. Maybe he will find out soon or maybe not, I won`t tell him. How could I? He`ll think I`ve gone insane.
Michelle leads us to the place where the blonde is sitting quietly, thinking about who knows what. I follow the path where her gaze is concentrating and see that she is looking at her engagement ring. A horrible one with a heart shape pink rock on top. It doesn`t suite her at all. I can`t comprehend if she likes it or fell in love with it over time.
A sharp pain struck my heart but choose to ignore it. It is not the time to have stupid breaks done like this. Didn`t I want to meet her? To get to know her? This is the girl that haunts my dreams. She is also the one that is engaged waiting to get married to someone else. Didn`t thought about what will I do when I`ll meet her. Nothing gives me the right to steel her away from her soon to be husband. A voice in my head stabs me, asking me if I can steel her. What give me the confidence to think I am better than her fiancée. Truth be told, that confidence was born from the ugly ring.

Now that I`m so close to the one that kept me up so many nights, I am not so sure anymore that I want to meet her. The girl won`t fell in love with me at first sight like I did. I know that because I`m not some stupid love stuck blinded man that believes this kind of things.
While I am thinking about the point in all these mess missis Taylor calls her partner and I find out that her last name is Jones.
“Jones? Jones?”
It takes a while for the blonde to become aware of our presence.
“Yes, Taylor?” she asks looking at me and my bodyguard like she knew we were there.
In her sky blue eyes a light appears clearing the cloud that covered them. They are more blue, more clear than the sky itself if something like this is even possible. My dreams didn`t do them justice, didn`t do her justice. I wasn`t prepared to meet the innocence in them. There is a sweetness to her that is completely surreal. Nothing about her is conniving or assuming. Nothing in this world could destroy that innocence and if someone tried I`m sure somebody was there to protect her, even though I wanted to be that somebody. She is that girl next door that everybody loves, that everybody protects. No. even if I can make her mine, body and soul, I could never condemn her at a life without secret, without privacy. Because that is the only type of live I know.

“This is Seiya Kou, the famous singer and we are going to photograph him today.” After a short pause she exploded just like one of my fans. “Isn`t it great? I mean Kou Seiya, here, in person!”
Michelle began to scream jumping up and down just like my others fans, forgetting to present my bodyguard but I`m sure he is used to this kind of treatment.
I tried to smile and act as if this was normal and it was but I would have preferred if she didn`t do that. Sometimes it is simply embarrassing and very unprofessional. All the photographers that I met before were so cold and uninterested in me that most of the time I feel like I am a piece of furniture. They are very different from what I am used to.
Taylor looked uncomfortable while her partner was acting this way. Bet if she had a rock under which to hide she`ll hide without giving it second thought.
“Nice to meet you, mister Kou. I am… one of Michelle`s assistants.” She lies between her teeth.
Michelle doesn`t seem very happy about what Jones said. Bet she will scold her after we will leave because she made Michelle look very bad, especially since Michelle presented Jones as her partner.
The blond isn`t a very good liar. Even though I didn`t know the truth, I still would have seen right through her lie and it is all because her cheeks betrays her. They became pink like the cherry blossoms. I think she doesn`t even know it. And also, Jones was looking directly in my eyes until she told the lie. When she did her eyes focused on something behind me. If I wasn`t paying attention I wouldn`t have seen it.

Michelle leaves us without saying one word trying to let the moment pass. She goes to fix the light because she saw that one of her assistant couldn`t do it.
“Excuse me for a second mister Kou, I need to fix something.” Says before disappearing.
Giving Big T an almost imperceptible signal, he leaves me alone with the blonde that was now lost in her little fantasy world and didn`t acknowledge my presence. It`s better this way because now I can look at her all I want without her questioning me.
She has long blond hair that is almost as long as her height. She is shorter than me with, I think, about twenty inches. I remember that on that day in the airport she had two meat balls made from her hair on each side of her head and it was a strange sight that caught the attention of very many people, especially mine. But now her hair is in a low ponytail while her bangs are made to stay on her right side. It looks good. I would have preferred it to be free for me to run my fingers through her silky hair. She has a cute small nose and a pair of kissable lips that I wouldn`t mind to give them some color. She doesn`t get kissed enough if you ask me and if I was her boyfriend I wouldn`t let her leave the house without claiming those lips. The blouse without sleeves and with a high neck that she is wearing is white and serried to her body and it makes her look like a nun. I can see her in something more appealing than what she is wearing.
Oh, I should really stop this because if I go on imagining her in less clothes my erection will grow so much that will be evident even in these baggy pants. I swallow the knot from within my neck and try to think of something else. I am brought back from my thoughts by her sweet voice.

“Why are you staring at me, mister Kou?” she asks in a very polite tone that is irritating the hell out of me.
“Oh, sorry, I just… was thinking of how much fun it will be if we would go out sometimes, so what do you say?” ask giving her my best charming smile.
I can see she has a hard time refusing me. I actually begin to believe that maybe I have a small chance at winning her over…
What am I saying? Why do I think about these things? Don`t want to be in a relationship! What is wrong with me?! She doesn`t mean anything to me! Does she?
“It`s okay sugar if you are a little overwhelmed. Everyone is when I invite them out.”
I see the change in her eyes. She is hating me so much right now and her reaction is taking me by surprise. Girls usually began to giggle and scream when I call them “sugar” or something else that is similar. I`m being my normal self with her and she looks at me like she wants to kill me. What is wrong with her?!
“Why would you assume that I would have said yes?” asks in a tone so full of hostility it turns my blood into ice.
“Because I`m one hell of a catch.” I respond without thinking and it irritates her even more.
“Yeah, really sorry, but I`m taken. See this beautiful ring on this finger?” says showing me her stupid engagement ring.

Her attitude it`s getting on my last nerve, especially that ring of hers. I will make her mine and then I`ll give him back to that fiancée of hers. What am I thinking? She really revels the worst in me just by being here.
“It`s pink.” I tell her trying to be uninterested in the whole situation.
“So? If it is pink, what?”
When she tries to get her hand away from me, I catch it and look at her ring some more. It really is ugly and doesn`t suit her at all. What does she sees in it? What does she see in her fiancée? I can see something else on her finger… I shake my head chasing away those stupid thoughts.
“It`s kind of ugly too. I mean, it`s a pink heart made from some cheap stone set in a cheap ring. It doesn`t suit you.” I say to her giving her hand back after I place a kiss on the back of it.
I don`t know what is wrong with me. I think something and when I open my mouth I say something totally different. And on top of this I don`t know why I kissed her hand. It just felt like the right thing to do. My lips on the back of her hand, on her silky skin while her perfume, something made of roses and something I can`t identify, invade my senses soothing me.
“You know nothing about me or my fiancée so bug off, you jerk!”
And so storms out of the studio leaving me staring after her like the fool that I am. When looking around me, I see that everyone has stopped what they were doing and were staring at me like I`ve done something wrong. Bit T comes near me with curiosity filling his eyes.
“So what happened here? She was looking pissed.” He says.

“Don`t want to talk about it, Big T. you could say I made a big mistake talking with her.” I tell him looking at Michelle, which was coming to me and wasn`t very happy.
“I don`t know what happened but on behalf of my friend I apologize. She`s going through a rough time…” she says trying to excuse her friend not knowing that in fact I was the one to blame.
“Don`t worry. It didn`t bother me.”
“ Okay, then let`s start working.”
And so for the next four hours I was occupied with the photo shot and haven`t got the time to stop and think about what in fact had happened.