05-12-2008, 08:44 PM
It was good o.o You sure had lots of good ideas 
One thing : Gardianul l-a condus in curte unde l-a zarit pe Xe vorbind cu un baiat super frumos , mult mai frumos decat satenul si imediat gelozia si-a facut aparitia in inima lui. - e putin cam ciudata faza cu 'super frumos' ya know, it sounds kinda begginerish, and since you aren't, things like this make other users think the opposite [si ca o paralela, daca vreodata ai de facut un one-shot-kind story, nu folosi expresii de genu', ca acolo nu ai destul spatiu sa-ti arati priceperea. Yeah, I know, it's kinda lol that I say this, you should teach me this things ^^" ]
Eh ... so ... cam asta mi-a sarit
One thing : Gardianul l-a condus in curte unde l-a zarit pe Xe vorbind cu un baiat super frumos , mult mai frumos decat satenul si imediat gelozia si-a facut aparitia in inima lui. - e putin cam ciudata faza cu 'super frumos'
ya know, it sounds kinda begginerish, and since you aren't, things like this make other users think the opposite [si ca o paralela, daca vreodata ai de facut un one-shot-kind story, nu folosi expresii de genu', ca acolo nu ai destul spatiu sa-ti arati priceperea. Yeah, I know, it's kinda lol that I say this, you should teach me this things ^^" ]Eh ... so ... cam asta mi-a sarit