Because we are rebels!

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Because we are rebels!

Axel . Deconectat

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Răspunsuri: 54
Subiecte: 11
Data înregistrării: Feb 2010
Reputație: 5
Zupi: 650 z

#9

07-10-2010, 06:12 PM

Chesse! FiculeÅ£ nou, yep? So, let's see.
Titlul... Vroiam sa fac o observatie dura, insa mi-am dat seama ca suna mai convingator in engleza decat in romana. Dar pe viitor incearca ceva care sa fie in aceeasi limba cu continutul, OK?
Descrierea atat fizica cat si cea morala e un pic cam slabuta. Pe masura ce apare un personaj nou, trebuie sa precizezi (suna ciudat) sentimentele naratorului/personajului principal. Nu uita ca descrierea fizica nu se rezuma doar la culoarea/parului, inaltimea, etc.
Actiunea este un pic grabita, mai ales spre sfarsit. Insa nu e ceva care se observa usor.
Dialogul e un pic cam multicel pentru primul capitol si nu e foarte sec.
Ai mici scapari cu semnele de punctoatie.
Well, spor la scris!

Blog . Another sin Â¬ Lucrarile mele ~ Wattpad Â¬ Treizeci ÅŸi ÅŸase de secunde

[Imagine: MANOWAR.jpg]

Brothers everywhere
raise your hands into the air
we're warriors, warriors of the World !

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Răspunsuri în acest subiect

Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 05-10-2010, 10:59 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Kiddoxx. - 06-10-2010, 03:52 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Ada - 06-10-2010, 04:56 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de InocentAngel - 06-10-2010, 08:08 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Shadow. - 06-10-2010, 09:14 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Biscu' iz back ^^ - 06-10-2010, 09:40 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Debb.' - 06-10-2010, 09:44 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Yun. - 06-10-2010, 10:08 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Axel . - 07-10-2010, 06:12 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 07-10-2010, 11:06 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Kiddoxx. - 08-10-2010, 02:48 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Yun. - 08-10-2010, 06:52 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de â–Œâ–’ Zà¸¢zzÎ±Î±Î± â–’â–Œ - 10-10-2010, 03:57 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 11-10-2010, 02:31 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Kiddoxx. - 11-10-2010, 03:05 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de â–Œâ–’ Zà¸¢zzÎ±Î±Î± â–’â–Œ - 16-10-2010, 11:30 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 20-10-2010, 11:19 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de â–Œâ–’ Zà¸¢zzÎ±Î±Î± â–’â–Œ - 21-10-2010, 03:30 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 27-10-2010, 08:52 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Shadow. - 28-10-2010, 06:36 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 04-11-2010, 12:15 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Moon princess - 06-11-2010, 10:05 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 10-11-2010, 08:04 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Moon princess - 11-11-2010, 04:40 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Flash - 12-11-2010, 10:51 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 18-11-2010, 09:59 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de KarinaD - 18-11-2010, 10:13 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Too Many Dreams. - 18-11-2010, 10:18 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de _Andreea_ - 19-11-2010, 04:54 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Yun. - 19-11-2010, 05:54 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Daria - 19-11-2010, 11:29 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Moon princess - 20-11-2010, 06:17 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 20-11-2010, 10:32 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Too Many Dreams. - 20-11-2010, 11:56 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Yun. - 21-11-2010, 09:52 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de KarinaD - 21-11-2010, 12:46 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Moon princess - 22-11-2010, 12:04 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 23-11-2010, 12:46 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Moon princess - 23-11-2010, 04:13 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de KarinaD - 23-11-2010, 07:22 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Dufresne - 23-11-2010, 07:44 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Zuzy Is Angell - 23-11-2010, 08:35 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Too Many Dreams. - 23-11-2010, 08:37 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de _Andreea_ - 23-11-2010, 09:02 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 24-11-2010, 10:40 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de _Andreea_ - 24-11-2010, 11:20 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Lilishor - 26-11-2010, 08:13 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Too Many Dreams. - 26-11-2010, 08:26 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de â€¢Ð½Ä…ÐºÃ¼â€¢ - 29-11-2010, 11:48 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 13-12-2010, 08:32 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Zuzy Is Angell - 14-12-2010, 11:44 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Yun. - 14-12-2010, 04:29 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de _Andreea_ - 14-12-2010, 08:36 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Daria - 16-12-2010, 12:14 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Dufresne - 16-12-2010, 03:52 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Moon princess - 17-12-2010, 04:37 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Too Many Dreams. - 21-12-2010, 10:09 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de â€¢Ð½Ä…ÐºÃ¼â€¢ - 22-12-2010, 08:15 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 28-12-2010, 12:10 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Too Many Dreams. - 28-12-2010, 12:15 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de crisy_bby - 28-12-2010, 01:00 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Mariah . - 28-12-2010, 01:45 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Zuzy Is Angell - 02-01-2011, 01:55 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 17-01-2011, 07:00 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Too Many Dreams. - 17-01-2011, 07:14 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de â€¢Ð½Ä…ÐºÃ¼â€¢ - 17-01-2011, 07:52 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Mariah . - 17-01-2011, 08:53 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Zuzy Is Angell - 17-01-2011, 11:27 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Who said i have to be normal - 19-01-2011, 12:18 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Zuzy Is Angell - 19-01-2011, 01:19 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de _Andreea_ - 19-01-2011, 05:31 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de â€¢Ð½Ä…ÐºÃ¼â€¢ - 19-01-2011, 08:01 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Too Many Dreams. - 19-01-2011, 10:08 PM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Moon princess - 20-01-2011, 12:46 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Daria - 23-01-2011, 12:43 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de KarinaD - 14-02-2011, 12:25 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de Rose ^^ - 14-04-2011, 11:21 AM

RE: Because we are rebels! - de KiDda - 18-04-2011, 11:20 PM

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