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Yakuza's boss in love +18

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Răspunsuri: 1.404
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Data înregistrării: Aug 2010
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#64
04-06-2011, 02:24 PM
Salut. Mersi de anunt.

Capitolul acesta a fost unul normal, nu m.a impresionat intr.un mod deosebit, dar a fost unul bun. Ai avut greseli de tastare, cred ca cinci sau sase, ai grija la ele. Ai repetat la un moment dat niste cuvinte, ceea ce mi s.a parut ca a sunat cam sacaitor. In rest chiar mi.a placut cum ai descris casatoria lor, intrarea la restaurant, defapt intreg capitolul. Nu ai grabit nimic, si dialogul il ador. Ceea ce as vrea, ar fi sa faci capitolele mai lungi, te rog :o3. Ne vedem data viitoare, bafta si inspiratie in continuare ^^.
[Imagine: Jun0xCa.png]



Răspunsuri în acest subiect
Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 03-12-2009, 10:04 PM
RE: [SasuSaku] Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 05-12-2009, 06:24 PM
RE: [SasuSaku] Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 06-12-2009, 04:27 PM
RE: [SasuSaku] Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 07-12-2009, 07:42 PM
RE: [SasuSaku] Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 10-12-2009, 03:39 PM
RE: [SasuSaku] Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 16-12-2009, 02:23 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 24-12-2009, 12:19 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 31-12-2009, 04:04 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rallu^^ - 18-01-2010, 10:52 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 23-01-2010, 11:34 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Vir - 22-02-2010, 02:31 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 23-02-2010, 07:59 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Adri@n@ - 25-02-2010, 08:45 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 17-03-2010, 06:54 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Teki - 02-04-2010, 11:10 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 04-04-2010, 10:23 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Teki - 06-04-2010, 06:55 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 20-04-2010, 10:41 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Crazy Person - 21-04-2010, 06:12 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 10-05-2011, 08:19 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Bonnie - 11-05-2011, 06:44 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Sho-Yo - 11-05-2011, 09:30 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Debb.' - 11-05-2011, 10:00 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Fifilina - 11-05-2011, 10:32 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 12-05-2011, 09:41 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 13-05-2011, 03:26 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 13-05-2011, 04:56 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 13-05-2011, 06:57 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 13-05-2011, 08:19 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Sho-Yo - 13-05-2011, 08:24 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Debb.' - 13-05-2011, 09:28 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Bonnie - 13-05-2011, 09:38 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Fifilina - 13-05-2011, 10:57 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 16-05-2011, 10:52 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Alle - 17-05-2011, 02:42 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Flash - 17-05-2011, 09:49 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 21-05-2011, 09:55 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Fifilina - 21-05-2011, 01:37 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 21-05-2011, 02:27 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 21-05-2011, 02:52 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 21-05-2011, 03:06 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Alle - 21-05-2011, 05:06 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 21-05-2011, 06:02 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Miranda. - 21-05-2011, 08:39 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Sho-Yo - 21-05-2011, 09:50 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Debb.' - 22-05-2011, 12:06 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de BalonaÅŸ - 29-05-2011, 05:28 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 30-05-2011, 07:37 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Miranda. - 30-05-2011, 08:54 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 30-05-2011, 08:57 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 30-05-2011, 09:56 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 30-05-2011, 10:16 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Debb.' - 31-05-2011, 03:30 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 31-05-2011, 10:48 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Katniss - 03-06-2011, 11:51 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 04-06-2011, 01:38 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 04-06-2011, 02:24 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de RouXiss Đx - 04-06-2011, 03:39 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Debb.' - 04-06-2011, 03:48 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Fifilina - 04-06-2011, 05:27 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Miranda. - 04-06-2011, 05:50 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 05-06-2011, 09:27 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 05-06-2011, 12:45 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 05-06-2011, 02:24 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ^Ciresica^ - 08-06-2011, 09:20 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 12-06-2011, 09:43 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ^Ciresica^ - 12-06-2011, 10:14 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Miranda. - 12-06-2011, 12:53 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 12-06-2011, 01:03 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 12-06-2011, 02:44 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 12-06-2011, 03:29 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 12-06-2011, 04:03 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 13-06-2011, 10:11 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 13-06-2011, 11:14 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Sasame - 13-06-2011, 01:14 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 13-06-2011, 01:18 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 13-06-2011, 02:54 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ^Ciresica^ - 14-06-2011, 12:46 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 14-06-2011, 12:56 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ayuu. - 15-06-2011, 06:33 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Miranda. - 17-06-2011, 11:03 PM

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