Letter to Santa Generator

[History]

Bun, e simplu. Aveti aici un generator care elaboreaza o scrisoare completa catre Mos Craciun. Chit ca suntem in mai, voi puteti primi cadourile pe 4 iulie. Oh, sa nu va uitati prietenii, pentru ca au un paragraf special in scrisoare. <3

Dear Obese Trespassing Altruist,

This year, I have been a very good little advertising tampon. I have not murdered, and I have often helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their taxes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of age-inappropriate pants this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring fruit leather panties. For my daddy, please bring a new razor. For my big brother, please bring fingernail polish. For my hampster, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my mail man, please bring some work ethic.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spongebob Squarepants pajamas, and front row tickets to Britney Spears – plus backstage passes so I can get airborne Chlamydia! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pony. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $10,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.

Breathlessly,

Your mother

PS: Please say hello to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Lia? She has been a really perverted vivisection hobbyist all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put homework in their stocking. Thanks!

Sa va aud, hobbitilor.

PS: Ahahahaha. <3

[Aggie]

Dear Santa Claus,

This year, I have been a very passive aggressive little girl. I have compulsively lied, and I have often helped my mommy with their chores. And I always say thank you, which makes me polite, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring earrings. For my daddy, please bring a new money clip. For my big brother, please bring Barbie. For my doggy, please bring a chew toy. Oh – and for my mail man, please bring some coupons.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Scooby Doo breakfast cereal, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get behind the scenes! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the cake I left out for you.

Sincerely,

Aggie, the cutest

PS: Please say hi to Rudolph.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Georgiana? She has been a really naughty cry-baby all year long and deserves 2ne1's new album. So please don’t forget to put that in their stocking. Thanks!

I believe he already likes me. :3

[Lia]

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Lia? She has been a really perverted vivisection hobbyist all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put homework in their stocking. Thanks!

Joke's on you, I don't have homework

[Azazel]

Dear Pagan Troll,

This year, I have been a very materialistic little advertising tampon. I have compulsively murdered, and I have never helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their taxes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of love this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring daddy’s testicles in a vise. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my big brother, please bring Barbie. For my doggy, please bring a homeopathic heartworm remedy. Oh – and for my mail man, please bring some fruit cake.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Scooby Doo videos, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get behind the scenes! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pool. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.

Love,

Azazel

PS: Please say Merry Christmas to the baby Jesus.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Bitch? She has been a really perverted cry-baby all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog shit in their stocking. Thanks!

[Saravis]

Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,

This year, I have been a very manipulative little girl. I have sometimes murdered, and I have always helped my mommy with their taxes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring earrings. For my daddy, please bring a new money clip. For my big brother, please bring fingernail polish. For my doggy, please bring breath mints. Oh – and for my mail man, please bring some fruit cake.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Harry Potter breakfast cereal, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get behind the scenes! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pool. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the pudding I left out for you.

Yours,

S

PS: Please say hi to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Ade? She has been a really selfish cry-baby all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put homework in their stocking. Thanks!

Muahaha, geniala chestia asta

[Daria v2]

Dear Santa Claus,

This year, I have been a very manipulative little advertising tampon. I have compulsively lied, and I have never helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new neck tie. For my big sister, please bring a soccer ball. For my hampster, please bring a homeopathic heartworm remedy. Oh – and for my cleaning lady, please bring some work ethic.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Scooby Doo videos, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get autographs! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.

Love,

Daria

PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Mrs. Claus.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Narnia? She has been a really naughty cry-baby all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put coal in their stocking. Thanks!

[yaoi maniac]

Dear Santa Claus,

This year, I have been a very good little girl. I have sometimes lied, and I have rarely helped my daddy with their taxes. And I always say thank you, which makes me polite, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring earrings. For my daddy, please bring a new money clip. For my big brother, please bring a soccer ball. For my doggy, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some fruit cake.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Scooby Doo videos, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get autographs! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the pudding I left out for you.

Sincerely,

Senji's fan

PS: Please say hello to the baby Jesus.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember SATANA? He has been a really naughty cry-baby all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put homework in their stocking. Thanks!

[Matt]

Well pe langa faptul ca am murit de ras cand am creat-o, sper s aradeti si voi:


Dear Santa Claus,

This year, I have been a very good little boy. I have not lied, and I have always helped my brother with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me nice, and so I deserve lots of love this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring perfume. For my daddy, please bring a new money clip. For my big brother, please bring a soccer ball. For my doggy, please bring a chew toy. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some fruit cake.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Scooby Doo action figures, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get autographs! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pool. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the cookies I left out for you.

Sincerely,

Matt

PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Rudolph.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember nesimtitu din clasa? He has been a really selfish dork all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put sticks in their stocking. Thanks!

[Addeh]

Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,

This year, I have been a very passive aggressive little girl. I have sometimes lied, and I have rarely helped my mommy with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring daddy’s testicles in a vise. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my big brother, please bring a soccer ball. For my doggy, please bring a chew toy. Oh – and for my pool boy, please bring some fruit cake.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spider Man breakfast cereal, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get autographs! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the cookies I left out for you.

Love,

Adi R.

PS: Please say hello to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Daria? She has been a really perverted weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put coal in their stocking. Thanks!


Dunno ce-am scris acolo, dar sunt sigura de ultima parte!

[Katsu]

Dear Pagan Troll,

This year, I have been a very manipulative little TV watcher. I have not murdered, and I have never helped my brother with their homework. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of age-inappropriate pants this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new money clip. For my big brother, please bring methodone. For my doggy, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some work ethic.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spongebob Squarepants pajamas, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get autographs! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pony. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.

Breathlessly,

Nykky

PS: Please say hello to Rudolph.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Smoky? He has been a really perverted dork all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog shit in their stocking. Thanks!