Aripi insangerate

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nasol...lasa-te	4.08%	2	4.08%
hm......	4.08%	2	4.08%
asa si asa	2.04%	1	2.04%
ok, mai trebuie lucrat	10.20%	5	10.20%
foarte bine, super misto	79.59%	39	79.59%
Total		49 vot(uri)	100%

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Aripi insangerate

TrieuTriTrinh Deconectat

Nothing looks like it seems

Răspunsuri: 30
Subiecte: 1
Data înregistrării: Feb 2009
Reputație: 12
Zupi: 129 z

#59

19-02-2010, 11:07 PM

hai sa incep prin a-ti spune ca imi place acest capitol enorm si prin a te lauda pentru faptul ca ai fost mai atenta de data asta la greseli si nu mai ai atat de multe ca in alte capitole

"niic"- nimic
"cel mia apropiat arbusti"- arbust
"lasa sa cada... avea sa cada"- incearca sa inlocuiesti al doilea "cada" cu pice sau alt verb pentru ca nu suna plea bine repetitia.

mai sunt vreo doua dar nu mai stau acum sa le caut. In rest totul e prefect, descrierea, dialogul, modul in care descrii sentimentele.
Cel mai mult mi-a placut faza cu darul in care o aduce la viata pe Yuri. Abia astept sa vad ce turnura vor lua lucrurile!!

Spor la scris si multa imaginatie!

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Răspunsuri în acest subiect

Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 15-09-2009, 06:29 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 15-09-2009, 11:08 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de ~X~LoVeLeSs~X~ - 16-09-2009, 10:29 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 19-09-2009, 10:21 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Zyspar - 20-09-2009, 12:24 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 21-09-2009, 10:20 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 24-09-2009, 02:23 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 27-09-2009, 09:56 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 29-09-2009, 08:53 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 02-10-2009, 04:31 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 05-10-2009, 10:32 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 08-10-2009, 10:38 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 11-10-2009, 10:09 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 18-10-2009, 09:29 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 21-10-2009, 02:26 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 24-10-2009, 12:44 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 27-10-2009, 01:12 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 01-11-2009, 03:30 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 04-11-2009, 05:56 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 08-11-2009, 08:09 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 12-11-2009, 12:45 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 20-11-2009, 01:53 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 25-11-2009, 03:05 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Minnie - 30-11-2009, 02:30 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 01-12-2009, 01:30 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 03-12-2009, 04:28 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Minnie - 04-12-2009, 04:09 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 06-12-2009, 11:12 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Minnie - 07-12-2009, 09:42 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 10-12-2009, 03:35 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 12-12-2009, 02:41 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 14-12-2009, 06:11 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 15-12-2009, 11:34 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Minnie - 16-12-2009, 08:47 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 17-12-2009, 12:33 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 18-12-2009, 03:21 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 20-12-2009, 12:51 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 22-12-2009, 11:42 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de A'Svear - 23-12-2009, 08:34 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Minnie - 24-12-2009, 02:08 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 24-12-2009, 05:14 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Axxa.No.Way - 25-12-2009, 12:14 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 26-12-2009, 02:09 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Minnie - 26-12-2009, 03:17 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 28-12-2009, 01:38 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Axxa.No.Way - 29-12-2009, 07:34 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 30-12-2009, 03:56 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 15-01-2010, 12:37 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Minnie - 15-01-2010, 08:26 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 21-01-2010, 11:34 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 28-01-2010, 11:29 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 06-02-2010, 02:19 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de TrieuTriTrinh - 06-02-2010, 12:52 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de marya - 06-02-2010, 03:36 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Aly - 10-02-2010, 02:51 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 12-02-2010, 08:24 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de TrieuTriTrinh - 12-02-2010, 11:20 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 16-02-2010, 01:48 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de TrieuTriTrinh - 19-02-2010, 11:07 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 05-03-2010, 05:44 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Minnie - 11-03-2010, 10:37 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 16-03-2010, 07:36 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 26-03-2010, 01:34 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 29-03-2010, 02:19 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Bad Blood. - 01-04-2010, 12:06 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 06-04-2010, 10:35 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 09-04-2010, 04:20 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Bad Blood. - 12-04-2010, 03:31 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 17-04-2010, 12:38 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Bad Blood. - 17-04-2010, 12:56 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 21-04-2010, 05:34 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Bad Blood. - 22-04-2010, 03:34 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Whisky - 22-04-2010, 05:35 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 28-04-2010, 07:06 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Bad Blood. - 03-05-2010, 06:05 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 11-05-2010, 09:06 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Whisky - 11-05-2010, 09:30 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 03-06-2010, 08:41 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Whisky - 04-06-2010, 04:54 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de TrieuTriTrinh - 05-06-2010, 04:07 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 17-06-2010, 01:27 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 21-06-2010, 04:48 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 01-07-2010, 05:18 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de dark.blue - 04-07-2010, 04:15 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Whisky - 05-07-2010, 08:40 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 05-07-2010, 08:47 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 11-07-2010, 01:49 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Bad Blood. - 12-07-2010, 02:55 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 05-08-2010, 12:33 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de dark.blue - 10-08-2010, 10:39 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 12-08-2010, 06:24 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 26-08-2010, 08:48 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Whisky - 27-08-2010, 08:45 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Akane Hime - 01-09-2010, 08:22 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 23-09-2010, 03:27 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Whisky - 23-09-2010, 07:59 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 22-10-2010, 03:28 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 12-11-2010, 09:40 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Lanna - 14-11-2010, 07:13 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 23-11-2010, 10:00 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 18-12-2010, 04:49 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Bad Blood. - 18-12-2010, 05:32 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Whisky - 18-12-2010, 10:04 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Hanna2300 - 18-12-2010, 10:18 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Lanna - 19-12-2010, 03:16 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 20-12-2010, 11:18 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Reine - 21-12-2010, 12:19 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Whisky - 21-12-2010, 07:53 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Lanna - 22-12-2010, 09:38 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Bad Blood. - 24-12-2010, 02:24 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 08-01-2011, 12:11 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Bad Blood. - 08-01-2011, 04:39 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 29-01-2011, 04:15 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Whisky - 30-01-2011, 04:43 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Lanna - 08-02-2011, 08:11 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 13-02-2011, 04:06 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Reine - 13-02-2011, 07:09 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Dark Blue - 13-02-2011, 07:34 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 19-02-2011, 04:18 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Lanna - 19-02-2011, 06:50 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Dark Blue - 19-02-2011, 11:20 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Katniss - 20-02-2011, 05:09 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 18-03-2011, 07:52 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Katniss - 18-03-2011, 08:46 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Dark Blue - 19-03-2011, 11:01 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Lanna - 23-03-2011, 05:19 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 01-04-2011, 07:50 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Katniss - 01-04-2011, 09:47 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Dark Blue - 01-04-2011, 09:57 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Reine - 06-04-2011, 02:37 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 04-05-2011, 07:37 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Katniss - 04-05-2011, 08:43 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Dark Blue - 29-05-2011, 09:26 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 13-06-2011, 07:00 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Dark Blue - 13-06-2011, 10:27 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Katniss - 15-06-2011, 09:21 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 03-07-2011, 02:54 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Lanna - 06-07-2011, 04:25 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Dark Blue - 16-07-2011, 01:14 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 17-08-2011, 07:19 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Dark Blue - 21-08-2011, 03:06 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 10-09-2011, 05:01 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 12-10-2011, 10:17 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de ciupaciup - 12-10-2011, 06:23 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Bad Blood. - 15-10-2011, 04:49 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Katniss - 30-10-2011, 12:59 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 18-12-2011, 03:38 PM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de BloodyInnocence - 07-02-2012, 12:35 AM

RE: Aripi insangerate - de Katniss - 08-02-2012, 01:46 AM

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