Kiya High School

[DreamGirl]

What a nice day. Was what everyone else could say about the beautiful day of autumn. (eventual cu ghilimele la prima propozitie si virgula dupa, ca sa faci trecerea de la vorbirea directa la vorbirea indirecta) Even if it was starting to get cold (virgula) as it was raining a lot (virgula) it was still nice for the students that who were having their first day of school. Between Among these students were two friends too that came right from Europe, in to Korea (virgula) wanting to study there at an art high school so they will can be one day can form a band one day and sing together. (partea asta de la final cu "sing together" mi se pare degeaba, e clar ca vor sa cante impreuna daca vor sa faca o formatie)

That wasn't a very easy thing to do but they were ready to follow their dream and do anything they have to in order to make it become true. When As they walked inside to their class they could see saw how different it was from how their school was before their previous school. but However, they will have to get used with to it so they can make their dream come true. The first girl to sit down was a little shorter than the other one, with blonde hair that was falling down partly fell on her back and while some was put fell over her shoulders, coming down on her chest, (partea asta care urmeaza nu are nicio legatura cu descrierea parului de dinainte) pale skin and you couldn't even see her smiling or faking a smile as she sat down there. and the The second girl that who sat down was having her hair black had black hair, and which was as long as her friend's hair. and Even their skin were was the same, as both of them having had a really pale skin that sometimes got them the nickname of vampires made others call them vampires.

Am corectat doar primele doua paragrafe, cu greu. Sper sa intelegi cat de cat, am taiat peste greseli si am completat eu cu scrisul ingrosat. Ideea e urmatoarea: nu incerca sa scrii intr-o limba pe care nu o stapanesti doar de dragul de a nu scrie in romana. In definitiv, lucrul asta face ca lucrarea ta sa fie foarte dificil de citit, avand numeroase greseli atat in ceea ce priveste gramatica si timpurile verbale, cat si in ceea ce priveste vocabularul sarac si gresit folosit. Nu am citit mai departe de atat, din simplul motiv ca mi-a fost greu sa corectez chiar si doar atat. Daca iti doresti sa iti imbunatatesti stilul, asta e sfatul meu: citeste, citeste, citeste. Citeste mult in engleza, mult de tot, invata cuvinte noi, studiaza gramatica cum se cuvinte, invata timpurile verbale bine si dezvolta-ti vocabularul. Pana atunci insa, scrie totusi in romana, caci altfel ti se pierd idei care poate ar fi chiar interesante.

O ultima intrebare: Fan Ficul e original sau nu? Ca, in cazul in care nu este, trebuie sa il mut la sectiunea corespunzatoare. Let me know ^^