Xibalba

[Lia]

Yup, you're as right as you can be for the most part of your critique, especially for the fact that I haven't blended the whole description, as to make use of it further on when things started to get hot. I've explained the reason behind all this, and it was never meant to be a serious creation. Sorry, Rhan and DiZ, but the story served its purpose and future creations won't contain such language or explicit actions. If you want more, contact me for the rest of mature writings that I have.

It doesn't have any continuation, unless I start ad-libbing, which I won't.

Thanks again, Cy for taking the time to do this, it has helped me realise a few things about where I go wrong when writing.