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Nici vorba! Chiar imi place:X
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Nu stiu...
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Total 52 vot(uri) 100%
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[Naruto] Jail is my home

#9
daca tot ti-ai vazut greselile de ce nu le-ai corectat??
poti da un edit capitolului, imediat dupa ce postezi apare la sfarsitul post-ului (sau cum s-o numi) un "edit" de acolo poti edita capitolul si sa-ti corectezi greselile :P

ai multe greseli de genu "s ail" nu e vina ta pentru ele, adica mie imi apare asa din cauza Word-ului chiar daca tastez corect mai apare uneori asa si trb corectat :)

acum, acest capitol a avut o droaie de dialog, adica cred ca 80% din capitol a fost dialog, ceea ce e exagerat dupa mine, nu zic ca a fost sec doar ca unele discutii parca sunt numai de forma, puteau fi inlocuite de naratiune
ai pus mult accent pe detalile acelei amintiri, inteleg ca-si amintea destul de bine dor totusi parca era mai bine ceva mai vag, nu chiar programu la care se uita la TV sau revelatia pe care a avut-o in legatura cu "talentele" romaniei

in rest, actiunea pare destul de interesanta, a fost un capitol luuung, poate prea lung pentru gustul meu...

ma bucur ca esti dornica sa asculti sfaturile si sa te imbunatatesti deci succes in continuare :P
4



Răspunsuri în acest subiect
Jail is my home - de Ayumi Michaelis - 31-07-2011, 10:15 PM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de hiimera - 01-08-2011, 09:06 AM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de Search - 01-08-2011, 12:43 PM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de hiimera - 01-08-2011, 01:06 PM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de Miranda. - 01-08-2011, 01:51 PM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de crazy little red - 03-08-2011, 11:07 AM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de hiimera - 03-08-2011, 11:30 AM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de Mina-chan - 03-08-2011, 01:26 PM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de ^Ciresica^ - 04-08-2011, 12:34 AM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de Search - 04-08-2011, 11:46 AM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de Search - 05-08-2011, 05:37 PM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de ^Ciresica^ - 05-08-2011, 08:56 PM
RE: Jail is my ... home [+16/+18] - de Miranda. - 05-08-2011, 08:58 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Mina-chan - 10-08-2011, 03:49 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Miranda. - 10-08-2011, 08:14 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Yuki4ever - 10-08-2011, 10:45 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de ^Ciresica^ - 12-08-2011, 05:34 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Yuki4ever - 12-08-2011, 09:39 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Mina-chan - 12-08-2011, 09:48 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Yuki4ever - 17-08-2011, 12:17 AM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Zummy - 17-08-2011, 12:28 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de Ayumi Michaelis - 18-08-2011, 10:14 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Yuki4ever - 18-08-2011, 10:39 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Zummy - 18-08-2011, 10:44 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Mina-chan - 18-08-2011, 11:02 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Miranda. - 19-08-2011, 12:28 AM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Miranda. - 02-09-2011, 11:33 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Yuki4ever - 04-09-2011, 01:45 AM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de ^Ciresica^ - 10-09-2011, 12:34 AM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Zummy - 10-09-2011, 08:12 AM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Miranda. - 17-09-2011, 06:43 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Search - 29-09-2011, 06:10 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de ^Ciresica^ - 01-10-2011, 02:32 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de Mina-chan - 01-10-2011, 10:18 PM
RE: Jail is my... home [+16/+18] - de i Ramenn. - 02-10-2011, 03:40 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de Ayumi Michaelis - 20-02-2012, 11:43 AM
RE: Jail is my home - de Zummy - 14-03-2012, 10:44 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de DiZ - 10-05-2012, 11:15 AM
RE: Jail is my home - de Ayumi Michaelis - 13-05-2012, 03:36 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de ^Ciresica^ - 13-05-2012, 09:22 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de Ayumi Michaelis - 22-07-2012, 01:21 AM
RE: Jail is my home - de Erina Ozaki - 29-07-2012, 01:47 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de rovy - 12-11-2012, 06:36 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de MadalinaMada - 30-11-2012, 11:38 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de Ayumi Michaelis - 01-12-2012, 10:08 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de ^Ciresica^ - 01-12-2012, 11:46 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de Erina Ozaki - 10-01-2013, 07:47 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de Ayumi Michaelis - 21-03-2013, 05:35 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de Ayumi Michaelis - 11-06-2013, 09:56 PM
RE: Jail is my home - de Ayumi Michaelis - 21-08-2013, 01:14 PM

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