13-02-2011, 10:07 PM
Din pacate povesti de genul exista si in realitate:( , te-ai inspirat cumva din viata cuiva sau doar asa ti-a "picat" inspiratia in cap? :X
Dar, waww ... amazing :zuppy03: nu cred ca "tatal" ei s-a schimbat, mai degraba cred ca i s-au terminat banii de buzunar si are nevoie de cineva care sa ii "produca".
Greseli de ortografie nu am observat pentru ca am fost absorbita cu totul de poveste.
Pana acum povestea e structurata bine, fara aliens, pacat ca acest capitol a fost asa de scurt.
Dupa parerea mea dialogul nu a fost sec deloc, continua tot asa cu descrisul sentimentelor, sa nu uiti sa descrii si spatiul unde se afla.
Pup autoarea pentru inspiratie. :*
Bafta in continuare!
Dar, waww ... amazing :zuppy03: nu cred ca "tatal" ei s-a schimbat, mai degraba cred ca i s-au terminat banii de buzunar si are nevoie de cineva care sa ii "produca".
Greseli de ortografie nu am observat pentru ca am fost absorbita cu totul de poveste.
Pana acum povestea e structurata bine, fara aliens, pacat ca acest capitol a fost asa de scurt.
Dupa parerea mea dialogul nu a fost sec deloc, continua tot asa cu descrisul sentimentelor, sa nu uiti sa descrii si spatiul unde se afla.
Pup autoarea pentru inspiratie. :*
Bafta in continuare!
"I'm crying inside and nobody know it but me."
„Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed…“
Child is slowly taken.
And the violence caused such silence,
Who are we mistaken?
But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying... "
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed…“
"
"Another head hangs lowly, Child is slowly taken.
And the violence caused such silence,
Who are we mistaken?
But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying... "