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[Terminat] Totally Dominated [*YAOI*]

#5
Hello. Nu am mai vorbit de muuult timp. Nah, am trecut si eu pe aici sa te felicit pentru noul fic care are un inceput promitator si sa-ti zic "La multi ani!" cu intarziere!4

Cat despre primul capitol... e scris bine, nu am vazut nicio greseala de tastare, descrii bine si relatezi si mai bine.
As mentiona ceva legat de timpurile verbale folosite:
Citat:-Ce faci? l-am intrebat, imediat ce i-am simtit mana dreapta in parul meu, si observand cum cu stanga isi deschidea pe rand si incet nasturii camasii albe.
"Si am observat" cred ca era bine de folosit.

Oricum, felicitari! Astept continuarea care sper sa apara curand!Smile
[Imagine: sigdn.jpg]

The old bastard left his ties and his suit
A brown box, mothballs and bowling shoes









Răspunsuri în acest subiect
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Claribel - 27-08-2010, 02:01 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Reveuse - 27-08-2010, 04:52 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MisS.sAdiStic - 29-08-2010, 07:19 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de bastard_in_love - 29-08-2010, 09:01 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 29-08-2010, 11:24 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaku-chin - 29-08-2010, 11:58 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Mitsukai Yoru - 30-08-2010, 02:40 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Assyria - 30-08-2010, 05:05 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 01-09-2010, 01:22 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaku-chin - 02-09-2010, 10:06 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Assyria - 04-09-2010, 01:37 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 04-09-2010, 02:50 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 08-09-2010, 01:26 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Bloom. - 08-09-2010, 02:47 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 08-09-2010, 09:32 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Aliss_anime - 08-09-2010, 10:38 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 09-09-2010, 02:00 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Aiumy - 09-09-2010, 03:27 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Assyria - 09-09-2010, 08:30 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 12-09-2010, 12:38 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 12-09-2010, 09:57 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Nywa - 14-09-2010, 08:48 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MaDeLyNe - 19-09-2010, 11:43 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Assyria - 26-09-2010, 10:28 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 04-10-2010, 07:32 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 04-10-2010, 09:02 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 05-10-2010, 10:52 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 08-10-2010, 08:24 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MaDeLyNe - 08-10-2010, 09:45 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 09-10-2010, 11:25 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 13-10-2010, 10:50 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 14-10-2010, 10:29 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 14-10-2010, 01:57 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 15-10-2010, 10:48 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 31-10-2010, 03:09 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 31-10-2010, 04:33 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de tamy_2000 - 31-10-2010, 04:35 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 31-10-2010, 07:28 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Assyria - 03-11-2010, 09:19 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 06-11-2010, 11:17 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 06-11-2010, 03:11 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 06-11-2010, 06:35 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 07-11-2010, 03:15 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 10-11-2010, 11:34 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Assyria - 11-11-2010, 07:43 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 20-11-2010, 11:34 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Marina. - 21-11-2010, 01:14 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Kara - 21-11-2010, 09:40 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 21-11-2010, 02:48 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 23-11-2010, 12:41 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 27-11-2010, 04:33 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 28-11-2010, 12:25 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 06-12-2010, 09:09 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 06-12-2010, 10:25 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 06-12-2010, 11:18 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 07-12-2010, 10:01 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 07-12-2010, 04:52 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 08-12-2010, 09:18 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Kai - 11-12-2010, 07:32 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 17-12-2010, 04:00 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de wilma eelskin - 17-12-2010, 04:29 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 17-12-2010, 05:11 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 17-12-2010, 05:36 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 17-12-2010, 09:08 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 17-12-2010, 10:29 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Kai - 18-12-2010, 01:46 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 22-12-2010, 03:16 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de anime_addicted - 19-12-2010, 08:59 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Aiumy - 21-12-2010, 09:34 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 21-12-2010, 09:47 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MaDeLyNe - 21-12-2010, 11:11 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 22-12-2010, 01:20 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MiraA - 22-12-2010, 03:21 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de wilma eelskin - 22-12-2010, 10:39 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 22-12-2010, 11:17 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Nywa - 22-12-2010, 01:29 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 22-12-2010, 02:11 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 22-12-2010, 03:18 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Marina. - 22-12-2010, 11:34 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de BlackSoul - 23-12-2010, 12:56 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de anime_addicted - 23-12-2010, 02:42 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 24-12-2010, 11:08 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 24-12-2010, 11:16 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MaDeLyNe - 24-12-2010, 04:35 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 25-12-2010, 10:07 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Me†al. - 25-12-2010, 12:51 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 25-12-2010, 06:37 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 25-12-2010, 08:03 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 25-12-2010, 08:54 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 26-12-2010, 11:36 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 26-12-2010, 05:06 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de yaoi maniac - 26-12-2010, 07:22 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 31-12-2010, 06:54 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 31-12-2010, 07:43 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 31-12-2010, 08:45 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 31-12-2010, 11:48 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 01-01-2011, 07:54 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 02-01-2011, 02:54 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de kame. - 08-01-2011, 07:38 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 09-01-2011, 03:15 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 09-01-2011, 03:31 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 09-01-2011, 12:42 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 09-01-2011, 12:55 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 09-01-2011, 01:33 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Bella - 16-01-2011, 03:21 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 16-01-2011, 08:09 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 16-01-2011, 09:10 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 16-01-2011, 09:27 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Bella - 17-01-2011, 09:31 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MiraA - 17-01-2011, 05:09 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 17-01-2011, 10:29 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 25-01-2011, 06:56 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Bella - 31-01-2011, 04:44 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 31-01-2011, 10:45 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 31-01-2011, 11:01 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 31-01-2011, 11:37 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 31-01-2011, 11:48 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Bella - 01-02-2011, 12:48 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 01-02-2011, 12:24 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 02-02-2011, 07:46 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 03-02-2011, 07:24 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Stormrage - 03-02-2011, 07:39 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 03-02-2011, 08:04 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 03-02-2011, 11:20 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 04-02-2011, 12:14 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Drama Queen - 04-02-2011, 11:32 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de wilma eelskin - 04-02-2011, 11:56 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 04-02-2011, 02:16 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Bella - 09-02-2011, 11:18 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 10-02-2011, 12:40 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Nywa - 10-02-2011, 07:19 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 10-02-2011, 12:57 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 10-02-2011, 02:05 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 10-02-2011, 05:36 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MiraA - 10-02-2011, 06:03 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 10-02-2011, 07:23 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Bella - 10-02-2011, 09:55 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Drama Queen - 11-02-2011, 10:49 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 12-02-2011, 03:48 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 12-02-2011, 03:58 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 12-02-2011, 04:01 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 12-02-2011, 05:25 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Bella - 12-02-2011, 11:57 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 16-02-2011, 08:16 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 17-02-2011, 10:26 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 17-02-2011, 11:02 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MiraA - 17-02-2011, 11:16 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaku-chin - 17-02-2011, 11:47 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 18-02-2011, 12:05 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Assyria - 18-02-2011, 12:24 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 18-02-2011, 11:17 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 19-02-2011, 03:15 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 21-02-2011, 11:18 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de n{iK}a aMmA - 21-02-2011, 11:52 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 22-02-2011, 10:42 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 22-02-2011, 10:54 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 22-02-2011, 03:04 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de kame. - 22-02-2011, 09:19 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 22-02-2011, 11:01 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Kara - 23-02-2011, 10:47 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Bella - 26-02-2011, 11:20 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 26-02-2011, 10:17 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 27-02-2011, 10:28 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 27-02-2011, 10:52 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de hiimera - 27-02-2011, 11:00 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 27-02-2011, 11:52 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Drama Queen - 28-02-2011, 10:10 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Lyly chan - 28-02-2011, 03:32 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MiraA - 28-02-2011, 05:17 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 28-02-2011, 06:54 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de wilma eelskin - 28-02-2011, 08:14 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 02-03-2011, 10:16 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MiraA - 02-03-2011, 10:19 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 02-03-2011, 10:26 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 02-03-2011, 10:27 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 02-03-2011, 10:28 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Rinnie - 03-03-2011, 04:42 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Tiusca - 04-03-2011, 12:14 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 05-03-2011, 12:53 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 05-03-2011, 01:05 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de hiimera - 05-03-2011, 09:43 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Tiusca - 05-03-2011, 12:03 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 05-03-2011, 12:55 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Sol - 05-03-2011, 04:26 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Rinnie - 05-03-2011, 04:34 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 06-03-2011, 10:43 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Kara - 06-03-2011, 05:45 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 07-03-2011, 03:05 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Ea~Ea - 07-03-2011, 07:42 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 07-03-2011, 08:46 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Sol - 07-03-2011, 08:46 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 07-03-2011, 09:22 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 07-03-2011, 09:22 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de MiraA - 07-03-2011, 09:33 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 08-03-2011, 01:04 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 09-03-2011, 07:39 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Tiusca - 10-03-2011, 05:36 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 13-03-2011, 02:14 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 13-03-2011, 02:36 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de hiimera - 13-03-2011, 08:29 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 13-03-2011, 12:10 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Sasha. - 13-03-2011, 12:34 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Tiusca - 13-03-2011, 01:27 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de angel cat - 13-03-2011, 05:13 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Drama Queen - 14-03-2011, 01:20 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Rain - 17-03-2011, 07:26 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaoi Queen - 18-03-2011, 11:24 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Yaku-chin - 18-03-2011, 11:27 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Beatrix LaVey - 18-03-2011, 11:58 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de nemo-chii - 19-03-2011, 09:03 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Addeh - 19-03-2011, 10:56 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Tiusca - 19-03-2011, 12:22 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Kai - 19-03-2011, 01:35 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Rain - 19-03-2011, 01:46 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de hiimera - 19-03-2011, 04:33 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Noesis - 19-03-2011, 05:32 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de angel cat - 19-03-2011, 09:19 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Aiumy - 20-03-2011, 12:16 AM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de Monica Wksv - 31-03-2011, 06:05 PM
RE: Totally Dominated [*YAOI*] - de βεκi - 08-04-2011, 11:18 PM

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