06-05-2012, 08:58 PM
May 6, 2012
Dear World;
Did you know that George Clooney was on The Facts of Life? Yeah, me neither. Jesus christ almighty.
Look it up though, its right there on wikipedia and his imbd page. f**k f**k f**k f**k. He was there with Tootie and Blair and the fat one and Jo and the housekeeper from Different Strokes. Live and learn as the unapplicable saying goes.
Diana you retard. Why the f**k do I insist on getting drunk and making stupid bar bets? And why do I continue to be friends with pricks who won't let me just pay to get my way out of them? I offered Jim $1,000 to call off the bet, but that cocksucker (Literally. True story--he polished my knob a couple years ago because he didn't know that William 'The Refrigerator' Perry had more Super Bowl touchdowns than Walter Payton--what a dumbfuck) said he couldn't take that amount from me.
That was just a stupid bet all the way around. For one, I think I kind of remember him being on that show now. It was when they opened that bakery or something right? Or was it a candy store? Maybe it was both. God damn it. For another, I was getting shitty odds: my life up against him licking my asshole. What horrible odds. You don't bet $500 to win $2--that's just stupid. No matter how right you think you are, you have to make sure the risk is equal to the reward. As much as I would have loved to have Jim tongue my shitter, I shouldn't have put up my life for it. I should have just said if I was wrong I'd suck his *****. But no, I was cocky and certain. I just had to announce to the bar that if I was wrong and George Clooney was on The Facts Of Life that I would kill myself.
So, while I should be gobbling Jim's baby gravy and/or licking his asshole, instead I am commiting suicide because I'm a man of my word. f**k you George Clooney.
Diana
P.S. I hope all that jesus and god and heaven bullshit is real.
Dear World;
Did you know that George Clooney was on The Facts of Life? Yeah, me neither. Jesus christ almighty.
Look it up though, its right there on wikipedia and his imbd page. f**k f**k f**k f**k. He was there with Tootie and Blair and the fat one and Jo and the housekeeper from Different Strokes. Live and learn as the unapplicable saying goes.
Diana you retard. Why the f**k do I insist on getting drunk and making stupid bar bets? And why do I continue to be friends with pricks who won't let me just pay to get my way out of them? I offered Jim $1,000 to call off the bet, but that cocksucker (Literally. True story--he polished my knob a couple years ago because he didn't know that William 'The Refrigerator' Perry had more Super Bowl touchdowns than Walter Payton--what a dumbfuck) said he couldn't take that amount from me.
That was just a stupid bet all the way around. For one, I think I kind of remember him being on that show now. It was when they opened that bakery or something right? Or was it a candy store? Maybe it was both. God damn it. For another, I was getting shitty odds: my life up against him licking my asshole. What horrible odds. You don't bet $500 to win $2--that's just stupid. No matter how right you think you are, you have to make sure the risk is equal to the reward. As much as I would have loved to have Jim tongue my shitter, I shouldn't have put up my life for it. I should have just said if I was wrong I'd suck his *****. But no, I was cocky and certain. I just had to announce to the bar that if I was wrong and George Clooney was on The Facts Of Life that I would kill myself.
So, while I should be gobbling Jim's baby gravy and/or licking his asshole, instead I am commiting suicide because I'm a man of my word. f**k you George Clooney.
Diana
P.S. I hope all that jesus and god and heaven bullshit is real.