Path to Redemption (The Avengers fan fic)

[Mary]

So... Long story short... I've seen The Avengers, kind of fell for Loki (smart, fucked-up bad guy, no muscles, complicated personality, British accent... kind of predictable) and decided to write a fic. I don't like writing in Romanian language anymore (I don't seem to find my words), so I decided to write it in English and finally post it...

Nonetheless, I assure you the fic gets better after a few chapters. That's when I started to be a little more confident in my English skills.

Of course, any comments / reviews will be greatly appreciated.

Prologue

This story starts, how else, with a punishment. A just, well-deserved, long-delayed punishment. Because Odin is - how else? - a wise king. He is the All Father, the ruler of the Nine Realms and he knows more than one way to put some sense into his stubborn, arrogant sons and convince them to walk on the right path. Force them, if needed.
After all, if he failed to educate his sons, if he couldn’t make himself respected by his own family, then how could he possibly deserve the respect and the obedience of an entire galaxy?

First, it had been the eldest son who betrayed his trust and had to be punished. Now, it is Loki's turn to be judged for his crimes.

And here he is - standing in front of the All Father, waiting for a verdict, still defiant, still showing no sign of remorse as he looks his king in the eye, his green orbs darkened with hatred and anger. Behind his mask, Odin can still see the pained child who tried to destroy an entire civilization in exchange for his father's approval. The child who let himself fall into the abyss, preferring to embrace death than live in his brother's shadow.

His child.

Because, no matter what Loki believed, no matter what others might say, he was his youngest son – and that was the precise reason for which Odin couldn’t be merciful. He could show mercy to his people, to his servants, to his soldiers. He could even show mercy to Jotuns, but not to his sons. They were princes of Asgard, not vassals, and they had to live up to their responsibilities. He simply couldn’t allow them to throw the worlds into chaos at their whim, just because it was in their power to do so.

Above all, he couldn’t allow his sons to play gods. Never play gods.

Sometimes, being a father and the king of the Galaxy really sucked.

"I was a fool to think you would understand, Loki! You are far too young, too reckless, too proud and too foolish to see the truth, to accept it!" he thunders, raising his sceptre above Loki's head.

"What truth?" Loki mutters bitterly, the shadow of a smile barely touching his lips. "There is only one truth-"

"I did not allow you to talk, you foolish boy! But yes, there is only one truth and you will find it or you will die trying!" Odin cuts, his only good eye cutting deep into his son's soul.

Loki opens his mouth in protest, but Odin has no intention to hear more of the foolish retorts his son never seems to fall short of.

"Through your vanity, you have endangered a peaceful, defenseless realm such as Midgard and a lot of lives were lost – and for what? To satisfy your thirst for some kind of childish revenge?"

"You thought I deemed you unworthy because of your origins? Were that the case, I would have never bothered to raise you in the first place! It is you and your foolish behavior which led you to this, which made you unworthy of this realm and of the love of your family!"

A few steps behind his brother, Thor makes an impatient gesture, like he wants to run by Loki's side and offer him comfort. Odin lives under no illusion that his eldest son will approve his decision, but Loki had to be punished if he wanted to make a man of his son. And it certainly was the time for Loki to stop acting like a one thousand years old brat and behave like a real prince of Asgard.

Without hesitation, Odin points the sceptre at Loki's chest.

"I take from you your magic!" the All Father shouts, his voice echoing like thunder in the throne hall. He barely finishes his words and a swirl of brilliant green light bursts out from Loki's body, the force of the energy wave knocking him on the ground.

For a brief moment, no one dares moving. Then, slowly, Loki raises his head and reaches for Odin. Anger and hatred gone from his eyes, he doesn’t even try to hide his pain anymore.

"Why don't you just kill me," he whispers quietly as the last trace of magic vanishes, leaving him empty, helpless and... mortal.

It couldn’t be helped.

"You will live, Loki, and you will repent for all your sins! In the name of my father, and his father before, I, Odin, the All Father, cast you out!"

"Father, no!" Thor shouts as a blast of white light erupts from Odin's sceptre. Instinctively, Thor covers his eyes with his arm and desperately tries to reach for his brother, only to see him being sucked into the light.

"What did you do to him, father? Where is my brother now, where did you send him?"

Looking at his son's face, Odin suddenly feels very, very old.

The king had done the right thing – but that does not mean the father is happy. He wishes he didn’t have to make such decisions – especially not when it came to Loki, who had always been such a difficult, self-conscious child.

"He shall be fine," he groans, putting a hand on Thor's shoulder. "And he will recover his magic – just like you did."

"Keep this in mind, Thor. The path to redemption is never easy, but it is a quest your brother must pursue for himself. We are not supposed to interfere, my son."

Bowing his head, Thor swallows the lump in his throat.

"You are wise, father, and I shall obey your command. Still, I have lost my brother once; I do not wish to lose him again. I beg you, allow me to keep an eye on him. I promise I shall not intervene unless you grant me permission."

Although he would have never said it out loud, Odin was rarely able to refuse his son when he was asking him something so nicely.

Besides, he is no less worried for Loki. With a deep groan, the old king puts the sceptre aside.

"Be it as you wish, my son," he concedes. "Watch over your brother if you have to, but remember: should you interfere without my permission, even to save his life, I shall put you to trial. And, for once, I might not be just as merciful."

Thor doesn’t need to hear more.

"Yes, father," he says with a curt bow of his head before leaving the throne hall in a hurry.

[Mary]

Chapter 1 – License to Jail

And Loki falls from Asgard, from immortality and from the grace of his father. He falls for what seems an eternity, thousands of deserted planets appearing before his eyes only to disappear a millisecond after, hundreds of suns blinding him with their light before he leaves them behind and continues his hopeless journey to the unknown.

After a while he realizes he is going to die in the middle of nowhere, surrounded only by star dust and unknown planets and his weak, human heart beats so hard it hurts. He opens his mouth, but no scream passes over his lips. In the infinity of the space he can't scream, can't move, can't escape death. He feels, however, every fiber and every nerve of his body awakening, crying for salvation, protesting against the imminent perdition. And this time, there is no one to save him and no future lies ahead. No one will find his lifeless body; no one will mourn his loss.

'And now... now what? Will you let my soul be lost in this frozen vastness of nothingness? No forgiveness for me, no last good bye? Nothing? You are the heartless one, you, who saved me and made me curse my own blood! I grew up with your stories and your enemies were my enemies, your monsters were my monsters. Why didn't you tell me I was a monster for you? You caged my soul with your lies and now you cast me out and let me fall!'

'Oh, Father! You, who are the greatest lie of my life, say you will pray for my hopeless soul, say you will mourn over my lifeless body!'

The slow pulse of his breathing is the only sound that fills the deafening silence and Loki focuses on its steady rhythm. He refuses to think of his father, but his thoughts keep drifting back to him, even as he tries so hard to shut him out. For his sons, Odin has always been a God and a hero, and Loki knows he can hate him all he wants, curse him all he pleases but he will never cease to admire him. Until the end of time, he is cursed to crave for his approval.

It was love, all along, that made him do what he did. That, and an enormous, burning need to prove himself worthy of his father's throne, despite being a Frost Giant and an outcast.

Strangely, he can barely remember living all those things and feeling all that love. As he falls, Loki hates Odin – truly hates him, almost as much as he hates himself.

The hatred, hot and fiery, thunders through his veins and devours his soul until nothing else remains. Finally, death doesn't seem like such a bad idea and it starts looking like salvation. Loki embraces it and a strange peace befalls him.

At that precise moment, after making peace with himself, he finally hits the earth.

\\\~+~/

The force of the impact shatters his thoughts to pieces and an excruciating pain explodes through his body, blinding him for a moment. Eyes wide open, Loki fights for breathing and cries as the first gulp of air fills his lungs with hot acid that spreads through his veins like a wildfire. Never in his life had he felt such an intense, soul-consuming pain. Not when Thor beat him to a pulp, not when he got his lips sewn together for seducing a certain maiden and not even when the Hulk crushed his bones to the ground. It's like his whole body has been instantly torn to dust and he is allowed to live only to feel that blinding, fierce pain, drilling mercilessly through his entire self.

It takes him two hours to move without going insane with pain and another two to start walking, staggering like a drunken man, but, in the end, he feels rather proud of himself. If Odin had intended to kill him, he should have done it on the spot. By letting him live after humiliating him like that, the old man had made the biggest mistake of his life.

One step on the road and Loki starts to concoct a new plan.

"I shall find a way to contact the Chitauri."

Another step.

"I shall convince them to lend me an army to invade Asgard."

The next step is followed by an incredibly intense pain that races mercilessly through his shoulder. It hurts like hell, but at least it kind of helps him clear his head.

The Chitauri are not his friends anymore. In fact, he will be in serious trouble if they find him in his current state.

"Or maybe I shall not contact them," he decides, forcing himself to move on.

The salvation, when it finally comes, has the shape of an old Ford, parked outside a gas station with the keys still in the ignition. It looks all dusty and rusted and doesn't quite fit his tastes, but Loki does not intend to turn down the gift. Assuming he is on Midgard, he has to get to the place called "hospital", and he has to get there fast.

Turning the car on, Loki wishes he would have paid more attention to driving during his last visit on Midgard, but he was pretty busy that time, trying to use the Chitauri to take over the world while planning to cheat the dumb beasts and keep the Tesseract for himself. A hectic schedule even for someone used to pulling the strings of the Universe like himself.

However, he is on a primitive planet, how difficult can it be?

As the car moves forward, he feels rather confident, so he pushes the acceleration as far as it can go, ignoring the revolted screams of the owner, who walks out of the gas station just in time to see his car being stolen.

After a few miles, Loki is so proud of himself he doesn't even bother to notice a little man, all dressed in blue and black, waiving his hand at him. A few more miles and a white, very noisy car overtakes his old Ford and stops in the middle of the road, forcing Loki to discover the brakes.

Anger boiling in his chest, he gets out of the car and sees a little bald man coming his way. He stares for a moment at the man's weapon and quickly decides against any attempt to snatch it – he is so weak that even a child can knock him down.

"May I see your driver's license?" the man asks, measuring him from head to toe like he is some kind of an alien. Well, technically speaking he is one, but he is quite positive he looks humanoid enough to pass for a Midgardian.

That, of course, in case Odin didn't suddenly discover his sense of humor and made him look like a bilge-snipe. He fights against the sudden urge to touch his head in search for horns and smiles instead.

"But of course you can," he answers, trying to talk his way out of the incident. "However, I am not familiar with that term. Would you mind explaining to me what a driver's license might be?"

The police officer - a middle-aged man with very thick eyebrows that seem to compensate for his baldness - sneers at him and starts writing something in his notebook.

"You think you're funny, huh?" he asks.

What an impertinent bug. Were Loki able to use his magic, the man would have been instantly vaporized. As he isn't, he forces himself a faint smile and tries to keep his composure.

"No, I do not think of myself as being particularly funny. You see, I am not from here-"

"Right. Listen, son. I might have been born at night, but it wasn't last night.* And you're not the first punk I've seen smoking shit, stealing cars and trying to fool the ol' man. But I ain't no fool, boy! And, unless you can show me some ID, you are coming with me."

"No, I am not," Loki refuses, too outraged to find a better line. "And you should consider yourself lucky for-"

"If I were lucky, I wouldn't have to work my ass off for eight dollars per hour, risking my fucking life to protect punks like you from being killed on the streets!" the man cuts him short, obviously losing his temper.

On the other hand, Loki's patience starts to run thin as well. "As a matter of fact-"

"As a matter of fact, get in the fucking car!"

Grabbing his shoulder, the man pushes him toward the police car. Wincing at the sharp ache that shoots through his shoulder, Loki yanks his shoulder free and hisses in pain.

"Get your hands off me!"

The police officer stops abruptly and turns to him, finally noticing his condition. However, the sight of his wounds doesn't have the effect Loki was hoping for.

"Oh, so you like fighting as well! You make your parents really proud, now, don't cha!"

Surprisingly enough, the reference to his family renders him speechless and Loki quietly follows the policeman to his car.

'I failed to make you proud, Father, but the same goes for you now. My fall... is your fall. '

\\\~+~/

P.S. To everybody who read and / or rated my story, thank you. I'm waiting for your suggestions, impressions and, why not, criticism.

* The line "I might have been born at night, but it wasn't last night." doesn't belong to me. It was said by Bobby Singer, one of the characters from the Supernatural series and I take no credit for it.