21-06-2011, 10:09 PM
Back :P
Al doilea capitol a fost mult mai bun dar si el are cateva greseli - si nu s de tastare. Descrierea e buna, dialogul e si el bun dar la sfarsit nu era nevoie de el. Acum partea rea, actiunea. A fost c am rapida si nu e prea bn :) dar in rest totul a fost ok. Se putea mai multa descriere asta daca nu grabeai actiunea dar, toate au un inceput :)
poi c am atat. astept urmatorul capitol sa vad daca ai mai evoluat :)
ja ne! :*
Al doilea capitol a fost mult mai bun dar si el are cateva greseli - si nu s de tastare. Descrierea e buna, dialogul e si el bun dar la sfarsit nu era nevoie de el. Acum partea rea, actiunea. A fost c am rapida si nu e prea bn :) dar in rest totul a fost ok. Se putea mai multa descriere asta daca nu grabeai actiunea dar, toate au un inceput :)
poi c am atat. astept urmatorul capitol sa vad daca ai mai evoluat :)
ja ne! :*
To the right, To the left, we will fight to the death
To the Edge of the Earth, It's a Brave New World from the last to the first
To the right, To the left, We will fight to the death
To the Edge of the Earth it's a Brave New World it's a Brave New World It's A Brave New World
A Brave New World
The war is won,
the war is won,
a brave new world
![[Imagine: beautyfullgrl.png]](http://i551.photobucket.com/albums/ii467/cepulamea/Semnaturi/beautyfullgrl.png)
I am a simple girl and you're a crazy boy....we can be friends? [+16 / +18] - http://animezup.com/forum/showthread.php...649&page=1
Inimile noastre bat ROCK [+16/+18] - http://animezup.com/forum/showthread.php...548&page=1
To the Edge of the Earth, It's a Brave New World from the last to the first
To the right, To the left, We will fight to the death
To the Edge of the Earth it's a Brave New World it's a Brave New World It's A Brave New World
A Brave New World
The war is won,
the war is won,
a brave new world
I am a simple girl and you're a crazy boy....we can be friends? [+16 / +18] - http://animezup.com/forum/showthread.php...649&page=1
Inimile noastre bat ROCK [+16/+18] - http://animezup.com/forum/showthread.php...548&page=1