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Do you love me?

#39
New chapter, multumesc mult ca m-ai anuntat. Mi-a placut mult si, in opinia mea, era imposibil ca Emma sa refuze cererea in casatorie. Nu ma mai apuc sa-l critit pe Jake, a facut-o Alice indeajuns in capitol *laugh*. Greseli (aka litere mancate sau virgule nepuse) nu am vazut absolut deloc, iar asta este un plus. Actiunea nu este grabita, decurge lin. Dialogul este frumos, ok din partea mea. Ai avut o repetitie sau doua, nimic grav.
Ar merge mai multa descriere, aici referindu-ma in principal la cea a sentimentelor, dar si celelalte lipsesc. Te axezi doar pe a scrie ceea ce fac personajele (aici referindu-ma la descrierea in sine, nu la ideea ce mi se pare geniala). Ai scris ca Alice i-a dat casierei o bancnota, aici nu trebuia descris dupa parerea mea (nici eu nu as face-o daca as fi in in locul tau), dar atunci la sfarsit ar fi mers mai multa (fara melodrama). Dupa cum ti-am spus in unul din comentariile trecute, ai adaugat ceva picant (sarpele si cererea in casatorie), acum lucreaza la descriere. Nu ma gasesc eu in masura sa iti spun, ai mult mai multa experienta decat mine, dar sper sa adaugi cele pronuntate mai sus.
Cum o fi, printre nervii irositi si minele de creion rupte (lucrand probleme la fizica) am reusit sa-ti scriu si eu ceva. Astept next-ul si, daca se poate (iar *rolling eyes*), sa ma anunti cand il pui.

Ps.: Scuza-mi eventualele greseli sau repetitii.



Răspunsuri în acest subiect
Do you love me? - de Alexi - 07-02-2012, 04:18 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Death Rose - 07-02-2012, 04:42 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Katniss - 07-02-2012, 07:37 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de CyBeR - 07-02-2012, 11:56 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 10-02-2012, 08:59 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 18-02-2012, 09:03 AM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 29-02-2012, 05:27 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Maria - 07-03-2012, 08:07 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 10-03-2012, 04:49 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Maria - 15-03-2012, 10:44 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 15-03-2012, 11:48 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 16-03-2012, 08:08 AM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 16-03-2012, 12:55 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Maria - 16-03-2012, 09:14 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 29-03-2012, 12:45 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Zuzy Is Angell - 30-03-2012, 10:40 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 07-04-2012, 11:16 AM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 12-04-2012, 06:40 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 12-04-2012, 09:11 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 18-04-2012, 05:32 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 18-04-2012, 10:27 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Sushi - 19-04-2012, 01:40 AM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 19-04-2012, 04:21 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 19-04-2012, 05:16 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Maria - 19-04-2012, 07:40 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 29-04-2012, 05:17 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 30-04-2012, 10:50 AM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 01-05-2012, 06:57 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 01-05-2012, 09:04 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 03-05-2012, 09:53 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 04-05-2012, 01:36 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Zuzy Is Angell - 04-05-2012, 09:40 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 11-05-2012, 08:02 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 11-05-2012, 08:56 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Zuzy Is Angell - 11-05-2012, 09:17 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 16-05-2012, 07:03 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 17-05-2012, 04:09 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 19-05-2012, 06:06 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 19-05-2012, 10:21 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 26-05-2012, 12:04 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 26-05-2012, 12:32 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Zuzy Is Angell - 26-05-2012, 09:42 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 27-05-2012, 07:38 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 27-05-2012, 09:42 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 09-06-2012, 07:59 AM
RE: Do you love me? - de Lara - 24-06-2012, 01:17 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 25-06-2012, 09:10 AM
RE: Do you love me? - de Lara - 03-07-2012, 09:23 AM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 03-07-2012, 07:34 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Lara - 04-07-2012, 12:13 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 13-07-2012, 09:46 AM
RE: Do you love me? - de Lara - 16-07-2012, 05:11 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Erdna - 17-07-2012, 10:50 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 09-08-2012, 11:56 AM
RE: Do you love me? - de Lara - 09-08-2012, 05:26 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 13-08-2012, 09:06 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Lexxu - 16-08-2012, 12:49 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Abbeh. - 19-08-2012, 03:25 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 22-08-2012, 07:43 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Lexxu - 22-08-2012, 09:50 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Lara - 08-09-2012, 12:28 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 19-09-2012, 05:30 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 14-10-2012, 03:39 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de leoaica - 19-10-2012, 06:50 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 08-11-2012, 08:28 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Zuzy Is Angell - 18-11-2012, 08:14 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 19-12-2012, 06:41 PM
RE: Do you love me? - de Alexi - 21-02-2013, 07:07 PM


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