Film quotes

[History]

Tia Dalma: Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.
Jack Sparrow: Dirt. This is a jar of dirt.
Tia Dalma: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: ...Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Tia Dalma: If you don't want it, give it back.
Jack Sparrow: [greedily] No!
Tia Dalma: Then it helps.

Elizabeth Swann: [as Will, Jack, and Norrington fight] Stop it! Will!
Will Turner: Guard the chest!
Elizabeth Swann: [indignantly] No! This is barbaric! This is no way for grown men to settle... oh, fine! Let's just haul out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything! I've had it! I've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked pirates!
[starts throwing rocks at them]
Elizabeth Swann: Enough! This is madness!
[faking]
Elizabeth Swann: Oh! Oh, the heat!
[pretends to faint, then opens one eye to see that none of them have noticed]

Jack Sparrow: [with his back to Elizabeth, thinking that she is a man] Come to join my crew, lad? Welcome aboard!
Elizabeth Swann: I'm here to find the man I love.
Jack Sparrow: [startled] I'm deeply flattered, son, but my first and only love is the sea.
Elizabeth Swann: Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: [turning around] Elizabeth!
[to Gibbs]
Jack Sparrow: Hide the rum.

Jack Sparrow: [holds up jar of dirt] Oi! Fishface! Lose something? Eh? Scungilli!
[falls down stairs, holds up jar again]
Jack Sparrow: Got it! Come to negotiate, eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I got.
Jack Sparrow: [sing-song] I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

Pintel: You know you can't read.
Ragetti: It's the bible, you get credit for tryin'.

"Glue... very powerful stuff."
The Blues Brothers

"Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb."
Dark Helmet, Space Balls