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Yakuza's boss in love +18

#53
Multumesc foarte mult ca m-ai anuntat de continuare!

Ei bine, ce as putea sa spun? Capitolul a fost foarte reusit. Sora ta se descurca foarte bine. Nu am ce spune. Naratiunea este din plin. Nu am cuvinte despre ea. Dialogul.. au fost cateva replici si nu au fost deloc lipsite de inspiratie. Descrierea.. este chiar foarte buna. Nu as putea sa spun ca si-a luat zborul. Este la locul ei si tinuta foarte bine in lesa. Greseli de tastare chiar n-ai avut. Nici nu m-am uitat dupa ele. Actiunea nu mi s-a parut grabita.. poate numai putin cand ai spus ca deja a trecut o luna de cand Sakura era la Kiba.
OMG! o.o Sakura e insarcinata nu? Sincer, eu cred ca cu Kiba. Daca prin capitol a aparut si o fraza despre faptul ca era violata de cel putin doua ori pe zi.

Ah, astept capitolul urmator cat mai repede.
Bafta si multa, multa inspiratie in continuare.
Bye, bye.
:bye:



Răspunsuri în acest subiect
Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 03-12-2009, 10:04 PM
RE: [SasuSaku] Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 05-12-2009, 06:24 PM
RE: [SasuSaku] Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 06-12-2009, 04:27 PM
RE: [SasuSaku] Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 07-12-2009, 07:42 PM
RE: [SasuSaku] Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 10-12-2009, 03:39 PM
RE: [SasuSaku] Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 16-12-2009, 02:23 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 24-12-2009, 12:19 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 31-12-2009, 04:04 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rallu^^ - 18-01-2010, 10:52 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ellamanu - 23-01-2010, 11:34 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Vir - 22-02-2010, 02:31 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 23-02-2010, 07:59 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Adri@n@ - 25-02-2010, 08:45 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 17-03-2010, 06:54 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Teki - 02-04-2010, 11:10 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 04-04-2010, 10:23 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Teki - 06-04-2010, 06:55 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 20-04-2010, 10:41 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Crazy Person - 21-04-2010, 06:12 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 10-05-2011, 08:19 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Bonnie - 11-05-2011, 06:44 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Sho-Yo - 11-05-2011, 09:30 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Debb.' - 11-05-2011, 10:00 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Fifilina - 11-05-2011, 10:32 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 12-05-2011, 09:41 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 13-05-2011, 03:26 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 13-05-2011, 04:56 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 13-05-2011, 06:57 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 13-05-2011, 08:19 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Sho-Yo - 13-05-2011, 08:24 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Debb.' - 13-05-2011, 09:28 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Bonnie - 13-05-2011, 09:38 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Fifilina - 13-05-2011, 10:57 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 16-05-2011, 10:52 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Alle - 17-05-2011, 02:42 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Flash - 17-05-2011, 09:49 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 21-05-2011, 09:55 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Fifilina - 21-05-2011, 01:37 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 21-05-2011, 02:27 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 21-05-2011, 02:52 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 21-05-2011, 03:06 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Alle - 21-05-2011, 05:06 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 21-05-2011, 06:02 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Miranda. - 21-05-2011, 08:39 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Sho-Yo - 21-05-2011, 09:50 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Debb.' - 22-05-2011, 12:06 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de BalonaÅŸ - 29-05-2011, 05:28 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 30-05-2011, 07:37 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Miranda. - 30-05-2011, 08:54 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 30-05-2011, 08:57 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 30-05-2011, 09:56 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 30-05-2011, 10:16 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Debb.' - 31-05-2011, 03:30 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 31-05-2011, 10:48 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Katniss - 03-06-2011, 11:51 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 04-06-2011, 01:38 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 04-06-2011, 02:24 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de RouXiss Đx - 04-06-2011, 03:39 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Debb.' - 04-06-2011, 03:48 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Fifilina - 04-06-2011, 05:27 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Miranda. - 04-06-2011, 05:50 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 05-06-2011, 09:27 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 05-06-2011, 12:45 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 05-06-2011, 02:24 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ^Ciresica^ - 08-06-2011, 09:20 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 12-06-2011, 09:43 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ^Ciresica^ - 12-06-2011, 10:14 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Miranda. - 12-06-2011, 12:53 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 12-06-2011, 01:03 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 12-06-2011, 02:44 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 12-06-2011, 03:29 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 12-06-2011, 04:03 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nywa - 13-06-2011, 10:11 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Rose ^^ - 13-06-2011, 11:14 AM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Sasame - 13-06-2011, 01:14 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Daria - 13-06-2011, 01:18 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Nixu - 13-06-2011, 02:54 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de ^Ciresica^ - 14-06-2011, 12:46 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ame - 14-06-2011, 12:56 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Ayuu. - 15-06-2011, 06:33 PM
RE: Yakuza's boss in love +18 - de Miranda. - 17-06-2011, 11:03 PM

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